For some it’s when the first holiday lights show up, for others it’s hanging the stockings, but for a growing number of Maui natives, the first sure sign that Christmas is near is the unveiling of SSHAM’s yearly canned feast. Better known as the “Sheast,” the canned Christmas feast has become a staple for many across the island during the holidays. This year’s joy in a can features three complete dinners perfect for anyone with more hunger and cheer on their hands than time to cook.
The first Sheast was a surprise hit for the canned meat company a decade ago, becoming very popular with those who have to work on the holidays and don’t have time to cook a big meal. Originally targeted at the gamer market, the canned feast has changed every year but CEO Art Pua’a says the goal remains the same, provide a great holiday meal for the whole family in minutes. “We have 12 layers of Christmas in a can for hungry Hawaiians including all-new desserts and a bonus layer of yeast rolls by popular demand.”
“Customers will enjoy their choice of a pineapple-cherry jubilee, tropical fruit cake, or a gingerbread pudding this year as well as layers of old favorites such as taro, goose, balsamic glazed Brussel sprouts, roasted carrots, and two layers of rolls to help sop up all those flavors you’ve come to love. As good as they all are, we think the Shlobster layer will be the showstopper this year. It is exceptionally creamy and packed with the soft-shelled-SSHAM flavor our customers have grown to love.”
While the menu has many canned feast fans talking today, some food safety experts are second-guessing the company’s decision to once again use pressurized cans. Given all the trouble involving exploding Sheasts last year, safety advocates are warning the public to use caution when opening or heating their canned dinners.
According to public records, Lahaina area first responders went on over 50 canned feast related calls last December, with a handful of exploding mailboxes, kitchens that were described as looking like “something out of a horror movie”, dozens of injuries, and even a group of fishermen sighted for detonating cans underwater to stun reef fish.
Consumer safety advocate Betsy Kaukau says that despite SSHAM’s can redesign she is disappointed in the company’s decision. “I can’t speak to the palatability of this canned potluck but I will admit that the food inside meets or exceeds all legal standards and SSHAM claims that they have worked out the design flaws from last year but why take a chance? Lahaina had to deal with a literal food bomb crisis just so some gamers and Veilcorp employees could eat a quick holiday meal. There is no reason that the canned feasts need to be held under pressure or that we need them at all. Somehow these groups of people ate before this craze and they’ll eat again if these Sheasts don’t kill them first. It’s not worth the cost in my opinion and I would urge anyone eating one of these things to use caution.”
Pua’a strongly disagrees with Kaukau’s opinion saying this about choice and Christmas cheer. “The canned feast was created after finding out that 44% of Hawaiian gamers said they spend the majority of the holidays in front of a screen and hated having to take time away to eat. Soon, those who have to work on the days most of us spend with family and friends found a bit of cheer in our meals too. We’re talking about Viel hub workers, charging station employees, and the police. I think these people deserve a great meal from our family, even if they can’t be with theirs. There just isn’t a way to put this much food in a can under normal pressure. We’ve addressed all the issues from last year and I think most people know to take the food out of the can before heating now.”
The Executive Director of the Lahaina Cat Sanctuary Felix Popoki says he has no concerns about the safety of this year’s Sheast and is looking forward to trying the Shlobster.
“I guess the cat’s out of the bag on this one. A couple of volunteer scoopers and I will be dining on a canned feast this year. Whisker Island may be a cat paradise but trying to make a meal that doesn’t look like something one of our residents just dragged in is a big challenge. As far as I’m concerned the Sheast is the cat’s pajamas. With all the different options there’s sure to be a layer perfect for your tastes no matter what they might be. People ask me If I ever miss being able to get away from my feline friends and enjoying holiday time with my human family. I just say look into the bloodshot eyes of a mother on Christmas day staring at the pile of paper she has to clean up. Exhausted children fight over shrinking bags of candy and her hands tremble around her coffee knowing it’s only a matter of time before she’ll have to get everyone dressed to go see the relatives. Do I miss that? Are you kidding? I’ll take herding cats and my Sheast over that any day.”
